Hey hey. My name is Dan, and I used to work in a call centre. We used get people every day yelling and screaming at us as if thier problem with the company is OUR fault. It's not, so I used this here space as a place to let y'all know what it was like. Now, as of late July 2005, I work in a record store. Which means more of my rants, and this time with extra VVVVVOLUME!!! Woooooo.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

seven days to go

music: REM - the Finest Worksong

My REM-predicted finest hour could perhaps be in approx 7 hours time, when my cellphone alarm fails to go off, as a result of my not pluggin the battery-drained thing in. It would be my finest hour of sleep, followed by the finest Spanish-esque Inquisition.

I have seven more days at the call centre; ie less then 60 techincal hours listening to you fucks. When company HR departments and recruitment agencies talk about 'customer service careers' you surely know it's an oxymoron, equivalent to, 'Red Bull makes you fly'?

Sorry, I did have much more to say, but got tied up in explaining how to dl some Queen songs from a particular Russian website from some peeps who can't speak Russian. No, I can't speak the Queens English backward either, but a little common sense god has distributed rather thinly.

Yep, Star Wars opens today. For achieving a random and arbitrary mark 3 months running, I have been 'awarded' a $10 voucher to see what economically amounts to 2/3 of a movie. I'm assuming 'Revenge of th Sith' will be 3 hours long, therefore providing money for ("donated") value; therefore worthy of the lame, grammatically inspired re-arrangement in the paragraph above.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

probably not the end

music: Ryan Adams; Love Is Hell, pt 2

I can say what I want now. Well, I could before, and I'm not really going to change anything, but the fact is... I can say what I want now. To a certain degree... I'm leaving the call centre, you see. But not yet. I still need them as referees, so I'm still gonna be tight-lipped over specifics. Like it even matters! Haha.

Yes. My gf and I are vacating the H-town for the big A-town. It's not the capital, but it may as well be. She's got a big flash high-paying job in some far flung section of some central call centre whose primary purpose I shall not yet reveal; and I, well, I don't know. My plan involves getting to Auckland, spending whatever annual leave pay I have accrued, and only THEN getting a job. Call centre jobs are a dime a gazillion up there it seems, so if I get stuck, there shouldn't be a problem. IF I GET STUCK. There wouldn't be this blog though, would there?

ANYWAY. So it's getting really busy at work, so the management are trying to encourage people to turn up more often, to help relieve some of the pressure of those who do actually come to work 99% of the time. Firstly, yes I'm serious, they actually have to use more to get some people to regularly come to work than, "YOUR INCOME, STUPID."

They do this rather than hire more people... Well, they've hired a few, but most of them quit before they've been on the phones long enough to actually know how to do anything. Why? Cause it's so freakin' high pressure, all the time. Almost EVERY day now is classified a 'busy day' and off-the phone activities are cancelled; so the next time a call centre rep promises they'll do/follow up something for you, and they don't, remember it's probably not their fault. Nope. They've just got 15 other people's accounts they're following and updating, with the measly 10-15 minutes a day they have allocated to doing this. The other seven hours and twenty minutes (taking breaks into account) are spent talking to and adding new customers to that evergrowing list...

That and the fact that the general population's IQ seems to drop with every passing month. I mean, when do you call a contact centre for a major energy company, with customers all over the country you service? When the power is out? When your meter has been read wrong? When you move house? Yeah, fair enough. But do you call them when you want to know how many dollars it costs to run a bath? Umm.. probably one tenth what it cost the power company to take your freakin' call, lady. In other words, NO.

And when you call us, what is it you're usually after? Answers to questions you have about your strange account? Services rendered by network contractors? Yeah, great. Swell, even. But if it is to tell us you want to punch us in the face, or that nuclear power is fantastic, or that you think the electricity industry was much better in the 1960s when everything was run by local councils, or you simply just locked yourself out of your house... call someone who cares, quite frankly! Or better yet, get a friend. They'd love to talk to you about disfiguring the faces of common enemies, the Cold War, public services and unfortunate mishaps. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about those things too... TO MY FRIENDS!!!

The only time I want to discuss the Cold War with complete strangers is when I've been drinking. Actually, now that I know I'm quitting, and as do most of the management, I probably could do this. OK, so the only times I want to discuss the Cold War with complete strangers is when I've been drinking, or I'm getting paid by the hour for it! Excellent. To hell with saying, "I'm not here to discuss public policy in 1960s New Zealand with you," as I have on more than one occasion...

So yeah. I'm leaving... sometime in May, most likely. My gf starts her job in mid-May, I'm staying here till we have a place confirmed. What do reckon I should do? (a) Get another fulltime job in a call centre, easily, lots of money (compared to the other options, initially), but no time... (b) get a part time job in a call centre, easy to get, not a lot of money, but free time to pursue becoming a rock star/work on my underapprecited masterpieces... (c) get part time work in call centre, as above, but use my free time to study librarianism... (d) don't get a job until I find something awesome - no money, lots of time to do whatever, possibly not happy girlfriend,but possibly awesome in the end... or (e) something else?